Once you understand the most common dating mistakes you are likely to make, you will be less likely to repeat them, and you should soon start having better results on future dates.
Being Late
Being late to a first date will not endear you to anyone. It sets up a red flag that you are unreliable and that you care only about yourself. You might have the best excuse in the world, but it doesn’t change the fact that the first impression you made was a flop. You’ll get a pass for being late one time, but confident people do not put up with a date who is constantly late.
Talk of money on a first or second date is bad form. You shouldn’t ask a guy, for example, how much money he makes. Otherwise, he’ll think you are only interested in him for his money. It is also bad form to discuss your financial problems. Your date will wonder if you will hit him or her up for some cash. It is appropriate, however, to discuss money once you two become a serious couple.
Talking About Your Ex
There is something about being on a date that makes some people want to talk about their past relationship or relationships. It might stem from wanting to appear desirable to the new date by pointing out that you were in a relationship before. This is a terrible plan. At some point during a long-term relationship, you might want to discuss a past relationship you had. But the point of dating is for you to find out about your new date and for him or her to find out about you. It’s not a therapy session. It’s even worse if you talk about why you broke up and the problems you had. All the date will think about is whether he or she wants to date someone with such baggage. There is no upside to discussing your ex on a first or second date.
Being Overly Anxious
Women shouldn’t start planning the second date on the first date, especially early on in the date. It might be old-fashioned, but it is typically better for the guy to bring up the next date, and this usually happens at the end of the date. Guys shouldn’t act like stalkers, either, by texting or calling incessantly after the date is over. It’s nice to have a little mystery early on.
Leading Your Date On
If you know you’re not really into the other person, don’t lead him or her on. Some people do this because they think it’s kinder than being honest. Others do so to become physically intimate. It’s also not a good idea to screen calls and not reply to texts, only answering some. This is giving the other person false hope, and it’s not a nice thing to do. When your date calls, be honest and tell him or her that you don’t feel the two of you are right for each other.
Being Intimate Too Soon
Even in the post women’s liberation world, if a woman is intimate too soon with a guy, the guy will not respect her. He might think if you would be intimate with him on the first or second date, you’ve probably done that before and will do it again. Physical intimacy should be reserved for people who are in love.
Being Desperate
Being desperate is unattractive and makes people wonder what’s wrong with you. If you’re a doormat, you are giving off the desperate vibe. A doormat doesn’t complain when the date cancels last minute and is more than willing to reschedule at the other person’s convenience. A doormat will even go out if asked at the last minute. Desperation leads a person to agree to just about any condition the other person sets just to have a date. You might believe you are just being nice and accommodating, but you are coming off as a person who lacks self-esteem. If you don’t value yourself, why would your date value you? Even if you get more dates by bending over backward to accommodate, the relationship will not be a healthy one. A healthy relationship consists of two people who are equals.
Being Rude
Display good manners on a date. You are supposed to be on your best behavior. One way to do this is to give your date your full attention. Taking phone calls and answering text messages while your date is sitting across from you will not win you any Brownie points. It’s best not to leave your phone out on the table, either. Put the phone away during the date, and forget it’s there. Don’t drink too much, either. A cocktail or a shared bottle of wine with dinner is one thing, but if you get sloppy drunk on a first date, the other person might think you have a drinking problem. Plus, you will probably blabber on about any number of unsuitable topics.
Playing Games
A common game people play is to act overly nonchalant. People like to play this game because they think it makes them look cool and not really care whether they are rejected. In reality, these people are afraid of being rejected, and ironically, this aloof attitude is one of the reasons they are. It’s best to be genuine and to strike a balance between being too eager and too uninvolved. An even worse game is to pretend you have feelings for your date when you really don’t just to have a physical relationship. This game is hurtful and unfair to your date.
Too Much Information
Every young teenager is familiar with the phrase, TMI, meaning too much information. You simply should not bombard a first, second or third date with every intimate detail about your life. Doing so signals you need to get all this out because you will never have another opportunity to do so. Well, if you tell all right away, you probably won’t. Save your troubled-childhood stories and any other tragic events that happened to you for later in the relationship when he or she really cares about you. Plus, if you are doing all the talking, you are not listening or learning about your date.
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